My son, Tony, recently had a reading assignment for one of his classes wherein the author used the term "creative despair" to describe that emotional place an artist sometimes gets trapped in where they simply feel like they can't move forward with a project. They feel like they've hit a wall, and no matter what they try, they can't get around it. Frustrations mount, they feel annoyed and depressed, they "despair" that they will ever be able to create what is stuck in their head. I think Tony mentioned this term from his reading to me because it is something that he has experienced himself when working on his comic strip, or in working on the new e-book for kids that he is hoping to publish soon. He thought the author had really captured the feeling with the phrase "creative despair".
I would not quite say that I experienced creative despair this week -- more like "I just want to get my hands on my project and I just can't seem to get back to it" frustration. It wasn't that I didn't know how to proceed with my projects or experienced a creative block; it was more that life just kept throwing obstacles in my path that kept me from being able to reach out and lay my hands on my work. The feeling I experienced is much like that one has in the familiar dream where there is something you must do and no matter how hard you try you cannot get it accomplished --something keeps getting in the way. It's that feeling like "Oh, if I just get this one more thing done, I can get to it", but then you find its an illusion, because "one more thing" keeps popping into your path ... again and again and again. Good old-fashioned "frustration" -- that's probably the best word for it.
Given the state of my week, I thought I could at least get my blog post up on time this week -- I try for every Friday. But no, again, things came up that I needed to deal with "right away" straight through the early evening. At 9 pm, I found myself with time to write, but no energy and no idea of what to say. So, I'm writing this (Saturday) morning. At least, I'm getting something accomplished.
I thought that this morning I would just share photos of the two projects I've been trying to work on this week. They are very different projects. One is a bridal necklace -- the design is still taking shape in my mind. I created some flowers using a white tulle remnant that I found in a fabric store and some faceted crystal beads. The tulle caught my eye because there is a droplet effect scattered over the tulle, as though drops of dew have been sprinkled over it. These photos show some of the elements I've picked out for the necklace, as well as a samples of the flowers I've made. Some were taken in the evening, in artificial light, and some were taken this morning in natural light. It gives you any idea of the difference in the way the white and the beads reflect in different light schemes.
The second project that I am working on is a lacy scarf . I LOVE the yarn -- it is very delicate, very soft and has a shimmering halo effect around the strand. It's called Luna, and the name fits it well. The photos below just don't it justice. Topaz glass seed beads are being added to some of the stitches to provide a bit more sparkle and catch the light.
The one other thing that I did accomplish this week that was at least related to my creative pursuits was to change my blog format. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the new look.